Action Catalyst Blog

The Quality of Life is determined by the Quality of Our Relationships

We all want happiness. We want that secure feeling of real, sustainable joy.

All of us – me, our family and friends, our coaching clients – are trying to find happiness. And we all ask, “Where do you find happiness? Where does it come from?”

When you look online, you see memes with quotes like, “Don’t worry, be happy” or “Do whatever makes you happy.” It’s great we’re getting messages that happiness (not just money or fame) is worth pursuing.

There are a lot of places to look for happiness, though, right? Certain people, different experiences, going on adventures – all these things can make you feel happy.

The thing with happiness, though, is it’s fleeting for a lot of us. That’s why we talk about it so much – we either aren’t happy, or if we are, we can’t sustain it.

Wise people realize happiness doesn’t come from something you do or have, or from places you go. Happiness springs from our relationships.

What makes us happy is when we have great relationships – when our family and friends, neighbors, and our bosses, co-workers and team members support us and we support them. Happiness is a byproduct of quality relationships.

We get sucked into the trap that going on a picnic or getting a new motorcycle or earning a degree will produce long-lasting happiness. And don’t get me wrong – there’s nothing wrong with having things, doing things and going places. But this kind of happiness wears off.

Think about the quality relationships with the people you like and love – your family, friends, work colleagues and customers. The quality of our life is determined by the quality of our relationships.

Here are wise words I heard once. It’s one of those unknown-author quotes floating around: If you spend your entire life seeking that happiness high, one day you might discover your life lacks purpose.

If you don’t feel happy, the natural thing to say is, “I need to do something that will make me feel better.”

However, if you shift a bit and say, “I need to go serve someone. I need to help somebody,” happiness will show up as a byproduct.

Now you’re making a difference in somebody else’s life. You’re improving the quality of the relationships around you. You’re living interconnected with other humans.

Focus on building and repairing your relationships, and spending time with people who matter to you.

Focus on serving. Find somebody to help, mentor or assist, and see if happiness doesn’t just show up there. Again, the quality of our life is determined by the quality of our relationships.

If you’re in sales or leadership or business of any kind, request a free call to learn more about our one-on-one coaching.

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