Emmie Brown Blog

Define the Win

The second step to winning this season of our lives is to define the win.

This is a quote from The Art of War: “Victorious warriors win first and then they go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then they seek to win.” We’ve got to know what our win is. We’ve got to visualize what we want to have happen. So that way it happens before we ever even get there. For so many of you, the reason why you’re not having the success that you want to have right now in your life is because you haven’t even figured out what a win would look like for you.

Because we freak out. We get overwhelmed. We avoid. I’ve heard all the excuses: I can’t fill out that campaign commitment form. It stresses me out. It overwhelms me. Oh, I just can’t think like that. So we push it off. It’s really easy to help other people figure out their goals, but it’s really hard to figure out ours and what we even want.

You’ve got to define the win in this season of your life and we’ve got to make it smart, specific, measurable, attainable and have a timeframe. The more specific, the more terrific.

We’ve got to decide and actually imagine it being possible before it’s going to happen.

How many of you like New Year’s resolutions? Our resolution is just a goal. Goals are important, but people can get kind of freaked out at the thought of resolutions. One thing they think is, “that’s kind of an arbitrary time of year to set a goal.” Or they think, “they don’t work.” And the reason why they don’t work is that we didn’t actually make them smart, right? In 2013, my entire year my resolution was about surrender because in 2012, I was miserable.

It was a crazy year. I remember we went to this little church’s event at Christmas and the pastor had a 15-minute little sermon that night. The title of the sermon was letting it be. That’s when it hit me that I had been trying to control everything in life. I had been trying to control other people’s actions and decisions. I was trying to force results. This made me realize that I was terrible at surrender. I decided I was going to take all of 2013 and it was going to be a season of my life that I focused on surrender every single day. Here’s a couple of examples of things that I did; every night I had to give myself a surrender score on a scale of one to 10.

One was how good I was at giving it up to God, to let it go. I was really good at catching myself whenever I got frustrated. If ever you’re frustrated about anything, it’s because you’re trying to control something you actually have no control over all. Frustration stems from that. Anytime I caught myself getting frustrated, it was usually focused on the wrong thing. The other thing that I did to make it tangible every time I caught myself getting frustrated, I would sing out loud. I would sing the song, “Let it Be,” to stop myself.

We have to work at defining the win.

We have to work at making it measurable and making it tangible. Even if you write down your goals, you have to do the work of reverse engineering them. We have to make sure it’s something that’s realistic to us. There are two kinds of goal setters out there. One type needs really big lofty goals, so that if they miss, they land among the stars. The other people need really conservative goals. Do you know which kind of goal setter you are? That’s important for tracking your goals. People with conservative goals who are on track get complacent and they slow down. They need bigger goals to push them. Some people need conservative goals in order to keep their confidence up. So you need to know which type you are.

Then the goal needs to be reviewed and have a timeframe. A goal without a contract is just a dream. Once we have the win defined, we will do what it takes to make it happen. Tune in next week for the next step: thinking long!

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