Archive for the ‘Conflict Resolution’ Category

friends

One Way to Not Lose Friends – But Why We Often Do

Its unfortunate that we often judge other people by their actions but judge ourselves by our intentions. When other people mess up it’s easy and natural for us to point out their mistakes, highlight them, and use them as evidence for why they aren’t capable or worthy of our praise. Yet when we mess up, it’s easy and natural for […]

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crazy

4 Ways to Know You Might be the One Who’s Crazy

At least half of what we worry about is a complete figment of our own imagination.  It’s an astounding capacity of the human brain to be able to take one iota of negativity, one hint of upsetting feedback, or one small challenging circumstance and exponentially multiply it through mental mushroom in the wrong direction.  I’ve found that this can especially […]

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mean

The Radical Response to Dealing with Mean People

Meanness is a sign of weakness. People who are strong, confident and secure do not attack other people. Because people who are strong, confident and secure don’t derive their strength based upon their relationships to other people. True self-esteem, true peace, and true contentment is the internal result of knowing you’ve done everything in your power to the best of […]

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conflict

The Misunderstood Truth About Conflict Resolution

We spend too much time trying to convince people that we are right and not enough time just caring for the people we are talking to. No one cares if you were right or wrong. No one cares if you were accurate or inaccurate. No one cares if you did say that specifically verbatim or you didn’t. Because as Maya […]

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friend

Are you hard to be friends with?

Great relationships develop not from the absence of conflict but from establishing an agreeable protocol for working through disagreements amicably. If you find someone who you can “fight” well with, then chances are you’ve found a friend for life. Half of resolving disagreements though has to do with your end of the dispute. You have to be able to receive […]

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How to Know if You’re Getting Feedback or Criticism

Feedback is delivered with the intention of helping someone. Criticism is delivered with the intention of harming someone. Feedback is meant to lift people up. Criticism is meant to push people down. Feedback offers actionable ideas and suggestions. Criticism offers a bunch of whining and complaints. People who deliver feedback do it because they care about you. People who deliver […]

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conflict resolution

How to Fight: 10 Rules of Relationship Conflict Resolution – Episode 151 of The Action Catalyst Podcast

In this week’s episode of the Action Catalyst Podcast, Rory shares his recent run-in with anger and his realization that anger is an emotion that needs to be managed. So much of the problems we have today are related to people trying to get along with one another – and not getting it. Listen in to learn about the mentality and […]

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harnessing anger

Harnessing Anger

Anger is a dangerous form of indulgence. I was once again reminded of this when recently I made the mistake of having an (ineffective) conversation based out of my anger instead of out of reason. Afterwards it occurred to me that while feeling angry is certainly a very natural emotion, we must realize it is still an emotion. And one […]

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how to change your life

How to Change Your Life

We like to think that all of the things we believe in our minds are factually true, but they often are not. Because our brains don’t delineate between true and false. The brain doesn’t inherently know what is accurate and what is false. So, instead we simply believe whatever we tell ourselves most often. Whatever we hear or assume over […]

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Managing Team Turbulence

AJ and I recently got a chance to tour the US Naval base in San Diego CA. One of the highlights of the tour was the helicopter rescue team. They told us stories of diving into the water out of mid-air, open ocean swim rescues, and navigating sea crash landings. One particularly interesting fact was that our guide – an […]

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The Self-Confidence Shield

It’s easy to be offended when people say mean things about you but here’s why you never should: When people say mean things, it’s ALWAYS out of an insecurity about themselves. People who are confident in their own identity are never compelled to attack others. There is no reason to. Because what do they have to gain? Nothing. The value […]

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What Trust Is

People will do things that hurt you. And in spite of what you think to be true of yourself, you are going to do things that hurt other people – even if it’s inadvertent. Other people hurt us and we hurt them because we are human. We are flawed. So how do we maintain trust with the people around us […]

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How to Overcome Having Negative Thoughts About Others

I am giving up the act of interpreting other people’s intentions. I have discovered a disturbing attribute about myself, which is that I can take any behavior that someone else does and create in my mind a negative reason for why they have taken such action. It is a problem because it is my creativity working in the wrong direction, […]

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Sending Emails

Swallowing Your Pride After Angry Emails with a Side of Guilt

I’m an idiot. I mean that literally. Dictionary.com describes idiot as “an utterly foolish person.” And I did an utterly foolish thing. Before I tell you what I did allow me to share a verbatim quote with you from a book: “Never send anything negative or even constructive about someone over e-mail. E-mail is a horrible translator of tone, and […]

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Customer Service

10 Customer Service Basics

The problem with “basics” is that we all think they are basic. To call something basic is uneventful and unexciting. And when we hear that something is basic we automatically default to assuming that we already do it because we’ve heard it so many times. But we give ourselves too much credit. While it may be true that we have […]

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Who is Right vs What is Right

In our Southwestern Consulting Partners Pact, we reference something that was popularized by the late Peter Drucker. He said: “Great leaders are more interested in finding what is right then worrying about who is right.” The search for who is right is typically based in emotion, ego, and propaganda. The search for what is right is rooted in a discovery […]

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Eliminating Toxic Relationships From Your Life

One of the most emotionally draining parts of our lives is toxic relationships. You know a relationship is toxic when it is always life-taking instead of life-giving. Eliminating toxic relationships from your life requires both courage and clarity. The clarity part can be difficult especially for those of us who don’t want to “judge” people. We have a hard time […]

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The Danger of People who Pretend

A pretender is someone who acts like they want to serve others but really is just there to serve themselves. A pretender is someone who leads others to believe they do quality work but really they do just enough to not get fired. A pretender is someone who allows you to think that you matter to them but it’s only […]

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Rory Vaden 8 Decisions of an Amazing Marriage Episode 80

Today is my wife Amanda’s and my 8-year dating anniversary! It has caused me to take a step back and look at some of the things we’ve done that have helped create an amazing marriage. A marriage touches every area of your life and it directly influences your ability to be successful. In this week’s podcast instead of having an […]

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Worthy of Trust

Are you worthy of trust? Do you consistently deliver high quality work? Do you do what you say you’re going to do? Do you show up when you commit to being there? Do the people around you know they can count on you to do more than your part? Do you do the right thing even when it costs you […]

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